“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!”
World’s worst pickup line, right?
See, among the littlest known secrets about successful pickup lines is the fact that funny is usually a better approach than seductive.
Not because girls like jokes more thank pokes, but because most guys can land a punch line better than a pickup line.
Plus, from a guy’s perspective, the worst thing that could happen after spitting a gem like the above is a girl laughing, rolling her eyes, and walking away; but if you lay it on creepy thick with a line like, “I bet you’d look twice as good out of that dress as you do in it,” your worst case scenario involves pepper spray and being accused of sexual harassment.
Guys, listen to me: pickup lines are important, and they can work, but you have to use your brain when deciding which approach to take.
Which brings me to the first proven approach to pickup lines: being smart.
Most girls don’t want to go home with—let alone talk to—a guy who doesn’t have at least a little something going on between his ears. Now, don’t walk up to a girl and start reciting complex philosophical theories (save that for at least date three), but opening with something like, Can you believe that North and South Korea are at it again? Or, Hey, if I were running for president, know who’d I’d pick for my vice?
Pickup lines that trigger conversation are most likely to turn into an actual “pickup,” or at least land you a phone number.
Now, if the persona of smooth, sweet-talker is more your style, I get it. And trust me, so do tons of other girls out there. As sexy as a brain is, a guy with a silver tongue can be downright irresistible.
Pro tip for you: When weaving sex appeal in your pickup strategy, the success or failure has a lot more to do with your body— rather than verbal— language. Sex is a physical experience (duh), so coming onto a girl with hooking up in mind needs to be approached with your whole body.
Try this: smile a little, maintain strong eye contact, and speak softly so she has to lean in close.
As for what you actually say, well, less is more when you’re playing the sex card. “Hey,” and a smile really is enough to get a girl intrigued. Once you’ve piqued her interest, you can play off her response to gauge how to proceed.
Just—for the sake of every girl who’s ever been hit on by a guy who thought he was a “player”— remember that “game” generally translates to “disingenuous garbage.” You’re probably not Ryan Gosling, so if something feels unnatural or awkward to say or do, don’t say or do it. You can thank me later.
Anyhow, if smart isn’t your style, and sexy is too straightforward, that’s fine. Make your pickup lines funny instead.
My educated guess is that ninety percent of girls will continue a conversation with a guy who can make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of conversation. You’re probably hoping your pickup lines will land you more than a lay (although few guys would say no if it’s offered up).
Surest way to turn a hookup into hanging out, or maybe even dating? Be funny, and be yourself.
And finally, what’s the number one thing every girl wants to talk about, no matter who she is or where she is?
If you’re at a loss for how to approach a girl you’re into, ask her what she’s into. Sounds simple? It is. “Hey, so, what are you into?” Bam. It’s coy, sweet, and open. Avoid clichés like, “Do you come here often?” and focus instead on some aspect of her—hair, a pin on her purse, or the drink she’s drinking. And listen, then respond.
“Oh, you studied literature in college? What’s your favorite book?”
Phone number= attained.
Look, the pickup line is not dead; it’s just a little sick from too much abuse. But if you deliver it well—whether you’re funny, seductive, smart or simply interested in her—your effort won’t go unnoticed.
Nor will it go unrewarded!