When it comes to pick up lines, there are some real doozies. Pick-up lines sometimes are stereotypically thrown out by men but that is not always the case. There are times when women can really take a man by surprise and throw out one of the tackiest lines ever. When you sit around with a group of friends whether they are guys or gals, there can be some pretty rough pick-up lines that people have heard of or heard in passing.
This comes with a warning of the tackiest pick-up line ever. A friend of mine was a bartender and had been for a while, working his way through college. A guy came up to a girl at the bar and my bartending friend just happened to overhear it. The guy said to the gorgeous young college girl, “Hey baby, you looking for a STUD? I’ve got the STD, now all that’s left is U.” In this shameless tale of one of the lamest pick-up lines ever, the young lady laughed at him and then left…with the guy that used the line on her.
In another discussion about pick-up lines with a friend who is the mother of two, another failed attempt was made while she was out running errands for her family. A middle-aged man came up to her and said, “I knew you were a champion.” She said that she looked around, a bit confused and that was when he explained, “Because you got two trophies in your backseat.” He was referencing her car seats.
In other effortless one liners, I have stood beside my best friend as we were house guests of another friend. You could see in this poor guy’s eyes that he had the hots for my friend. He had that dumb grin on his face and his eyes were twinkling and what one thing that came out of his mouth was, “Hey, I like your belt.” She looked at him. He looked at her. We all looked at each other. What was the punch line? He finally just said, “Well, it just would look good on my floor.” Please note he went home alone.
However it certainly beats this dead-in-the-water line, “Is your name carpet? Because I would like to lay you.” This one is ruthless and a bit demeaning. Or here’s one for the ladies: “Do you like mushrooms?” When she looks puzzled, he says, “Because I’m a real fun-gi.”
A female friend of mine was in the Army. She was in Alaska in the middle of the winter during field exercises. One of the NCO’s came up to her and requested that he give her “hypothermia training.” What he really meant was that they needed to get naked and use their body heat to warm each other up. Major Fail!
After all of these attempts that either last for one night rendezvous or even never even make it out of the starting gate, there is always that one success story. This one comes from another friend of mine and it is a good one. The story goes that a man came up behind her at the grocery store.
She tells this story in simplicity as a man said to her, “Hey! You dropped something.” She searched frantically around her trying to figure out what it was. His reply, “My name and number.” Sixteen years, they are happily married with children all after the day that she met her guy there in the store, having not dropped nothing at all but having taken a chance on a cheesy pick-up line.