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by Unknown on 8/24/2013 3:28:36 PM
When it comes to pick up lines, there are some real doozies. Pick-up lines sometimes are stereotypically thrown out by men but that is not always the case. There are times when women can really take a man by surprise and throw out one of the tackiest lines ever. When you sit around with a group of friends whether they are guys or gals, there can be some pretty rough pick-up lines that people have heard of or heard in passing.
This comes with a warning of the tackiest pick-up line ever. A friend of mine was a bartender and had been for a while, working his way through college. A guy came up to a girl at the bar and my bartending friend just happened to overhear it. The guy said to the gorgeous young college girl, “Hey baby, you looking for a STUD? I’ve got the STD, now all that’s left is U.” In this shameless tale of one of the lamest pick-up lines ever, the young lady laughed at him and then left…with the guy that used the line on her.
In another discussion about pick-up lines with a friend who is the mother of two, another failed attempt was made while she was out running errands for her family. A middle-aged man came up to her and said, “I knew you were a champion.” She said that she looked around, a bit confused and that was when he explained, “Because you got two trophies in your backseat.” He was referencing her car seats.
In other effortless one liners, I have stood beside my best friend as we were house guests of another friend. You could see in this poor guy’s eyes that he had the hots for my friend. He had that dumb grin on his face and his eyes were twinkling and what one thing that came out of his mouth was, “Hey, I like your belt.” She looked at him. He looked at her. We all looked at each other. What was the punch line? He finally just said, “Well, it just would look good on my floor.” Please note he went home alone.
However it certainly beats this dead-in-the-water line, “Is your name carpet? Because I would like to lay you.” This one is ruthless and a bit demeaning. Or here’s one for the ladies: “Do you like mushrooms?” When she looks puzzled, he says, “Because I’m a real fun-gi.”
A female friend of mine was in the Army. She was in Alaska in the middle of the winter during field exercises. One of the NCO’s came up to her and requested that he give her “hypothermia training.” What he really meant was that they needed to get naked and use their body heat to warm each other up. Major Fail!
After all of these attempts that either last for one night rendezvous or even never even make it out of the starting gate, there is always that one success story. This one comes from another friend of mine and it is a good one. The story goes that a man came up behind her at the grocery store.
She tells this story in simplicity as a man said to her, “Hey! You dropped something.” She searched frantically around her trying to figure out what it was. His reply, “My name and number.” Sixteen years, they are happily married with children all after the day that she met her guy there in the store, having not dropped nothing at all but having taken a chance on a cheesy pick-up line.
by Unknown on 5/1/2013 8:14:21 PM
Even Filipinas use pick-up lines for boys. It’s socially acceptable for women to make the first move in the Philippines though on a much subtle way. Here are a few chat-up lines that are perfect for girls to use:Motolite Battery
Motolite ka ba? Bakit? Kasi trusted na pangmatagalan! (Are you a Motolite? Why? Because you’re trusted to last.) Motolite is an automobile and industrial battery. It’s tag-line is “ Motolite pang-matagalan!” Surname
Walang permanente sa mundo. Kaya asahan mo pagdating ng panahon, apelyedo mo na ang gamit ko. (Nothing’s permanent in the world. So except that when the time comes, I’ll be using your last name.) Jose Rizal
Girl: Ang laki ng pinagkaiba nyo ni Rizal. Boy: bakit? Girl: Kasi si Rizal nasa piso. Pero ikaw nasa puso ko.(Girl: There’s a big difference between you and Rizal. Boy: Why? Girl: Because Rizal is on the peso, but you are on my heart.) Jose Rizal is the country’s national hero. He’s famous for writing many propagandas, speaking many languages, and triggering the uprising against Spanish conquistadores in a quest for independence. Hide-and-seek
Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Bakit? Kasi “A Boy like you is impossible to find” (Let’s play anything, but not hide-and-seek. Why? Because “A boy like you is impossible to find ) This one’s inspired by a Fall For You song lyric. Superman
Superman ka ba? SUPERMANhid ka kasi, di mo maramdaman na mahal kita. (Are you Superman? Because you’re SUPERMANhid, you don’t feel that I love you.)When I Grow Up
Boy: Pag laki ko, gusto ko maging Engineer. Eh ikaw? Girl: Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging sa’yo! (Boy: When I grow up, I want to be an Engineer. How about you? Girl: When I grow up, I want to be yours.) Howling Dog
Girl: aso ka ba ? boy: bakit ? Girl: sinaktan mo kasi puso ko. Boy : asan yung aso dun ?
Girl : AWWWW !!! (Girl: Are you a dog? Boy: Why? Girl: You hurt my heart. Boy: Where’s the dog there? Girl: AWWW!!!) This one’s cute and funny at the same time. Finding Nemo
Si Nemo ka ba? Lagi na lang kitang hinahanap. (Are you Nemo? I’m always looking for you.) Growing Up
Tumatangkad ka ah! Dati hanggang dito ka lang. Ngayon nasa isip na kita. (Hey, You’re growing taller! Before, you were just up until here. Now, you’re in my mind.) Ghost
Multo ka ba??? Kase pag nakikita kita bumibilis tibok ng puso ko eh. (Are you a ghost? Cause when I see you, my heart beats fast.)Mcdo
Puwede bang Mcdo na lang tawag ko sayo? Kasi nakakahiya kong sabihing, Love ko ‘to. (Can I just call you Mcdo? Cause I’m shy to say, I love this.) McDonalds is famously called McDo in the Philippines with the tag-line “Loke ko ‘to.” Picture picture
Camera ka ba? Casi tuwing nakikita kita, napapangiti ako. (Are you a camera? Cause everytime I see you, I smile. )
The author found these lines here
and then translated them to english.
by Hannah Tool on 4/9/2013 5:43:25 PM
“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!”
World’s worst pickup line, right?
See, among the littlest known secrets about successful pickup lines is the fact that funny is usually a better approach than seductive.
Not because girls like jokes more thank pokes, but because most guys can land a punch line better than a pickup line.
Plus, from a guy’s perspective, the worst thing that could happen after spitting a gem like the above is a girl laughing, rolling her eyes, and walking away; but if you lay it on creepy thick with a line like, “I bet you’d look twice as good out of that dress as you do in it,” your worst case scenario involves pepper spray and being accused of sexual harassment.
Guys, listen to me: pickup lines are important, and they can work, but you have to use your brain when deciding which approach to take.
Which brings me to the first proven approach to pickup lines: being smart.
Most girls don’t want to go home with—let alone talk to—a guy who doesn’t have at least a little something going on between his ears. Now, don’t walk up to a girl and start reciting complex philosophical theories (save that for at least date three), but opening with something like, Can you believe that North and South Korea are at it again? Or, Hey, if I were running for president, know who’d I’d pick for my vice?
Pickup lines that trigger conversation are most likely to turn into an actual “pickup,” or at least land you a phone number.
Now, if the persona of smooth, sweet-talker is more your style, I get it. And trust me, so do tons of other girls out there. As sexy as a brain is, a guy with a silver tongue can be downright irresistible.
Pro tip for you: When weaving sex appeal in your pickup strategy, the success or failure has a lot more to do with your body— rather than verbal— language. Sex is a physical experience (duh), so coming onto a girl with hooking up in mind needs to be approached with your whole body.
Try this: smile a little, maintain strong eye contact, and speak softly so she has to lean in close.
As for what you actually say, well, less is more when you’re playing the sex card. “Hey,” and a smile really is enough to get a girl intrigued. Once you’ve piqued her interest, you can play off her response to gauge how to proceed.
Just—for the sake of every girl who’s ever been hit on by a guy who thought he was a “player”— remember that “game” generally translates to “disingenuous garbage.” You’re probably not Ryan Gosling, so if something feels unnatural or awkward to say or do, don’t say or do it. You can thank me later.
Anyhow, if smart isn’t your style, and sexy is too straightforward, that’s fine. Make your pickup lines funny instead.
My educated guess is that ninety percent of girls will continue a conversation with a guy who can make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of conversation. You’re probably hoping your pickup lines will land you more than a lay (although few guys would say no if it’s offered up).
Surest way to turn a hookup into hanging out, or maybe even dating? Be funny, and be yourself.
And finally, what’s the number one thing every girl wants to talk about, no matter who she is or where she is?
If you’re at a loss for how to approach a girl you’re into, ask her what she’s into. Sounds simple? It is. “Hey, so, what are you into?” Bam. It’s coy, sweet, and open. Avoid clichés like, “Do you come here often?” and focus instead on some aspect of her—hair, a pin on her purse, or the drink she’s drinking. And listen, then respond.
“Oh, you studied literature in college? What’s your favorite book?”
Phone number= attained.
Look, the pickup line is not dead; it’s just a little sick from too much abuse. But if you deliver it well—whether you’re funny, seductive, smart or simply interested in her—your effort won’t go unnoticed.
Nor will it go unrewarded!
by Alexandra Meehan on 4/9/2013 5:38:00 PM
Pick-Up-Lines: One Bisexual Girl Tells All
I can still recall the pungent waft of dirty cigarettes and spilt beer. It was a promising Saturday night, and I found myself nice and intoxicated at a local Irish bar. I sat at my wobbly table with delight. At the particular moment, I had been seated with the featured band. We were a table of grungy punks, each of us with a tall-boy in hand. I remember Scott, one of the singers, pointing out a sexy cocktail waitress which he fancied. All of the boys, including myself, encouraged him to make a move. Moves weren't really Scott's thing, as he was as shy as they came. Instead, he sat there for most of the evening gazing and commenting on her flawless aesthetics. Eventually, I decided to order us a round of shots. When the waitress took our order, I noticed her facial expressions, which seemed to indicate a mutual attraction. I decided to introduce myself, and from there, things just took off. She began hitting on me, at my surprise. One shot turned into ten shots (which I wouldn't suggest doing), and instead of taking tips, she insisted on a “kiss.” The night concluded with me getting her telephone number, complete with hearts and an “XXOO.” This incidence was somewhat odd, as I usually was the one who did the “picking up.”
My single-days were grazed with images much like this; me, slouched over a bar-stool with my leather jacket and tight jeans, girls eyes magnetized by my rebellious lore. I think I was something like a cactus; dangerously intriguing, but too terrifying to touch. Back then, I had a grungy punk-rock thing going, which seemed to work to my advantage. I was that stellar barfly. When they did venture my direction, popular conversation starters began with “Hey you look just like Joan Jett.” After hearing it a million times, it sure got old. In fact, it turned into the ultimate conversation starter of the century. I heard it at least three times a day. Just the sound of “you look like Joan Jett” made my gut squirm in angst.
In the lesbian dating scene, girls are perceived as “tops” and “bottoms,” where the “top” is generally the dominant one and the “bottom” the submissive one. My only problem was that I was hard to peg. I had sort of androgynous aesthetic; a tomboyish Misfits-esq style, from my choppy black hair to my rugged boots. I was neither a lipstick lesbian nor a butch- I was somewhere in between; but my potency was eminent. Girls didn't know which side I batted for. Instead, I generally sat alone, humbly waiting for a a set of satin legs to come wonderfully meandering my way. Every girl I had been with (and let me tell you, I was quite “easy” in my days), had been lovely in their feminine dispositions. I experienced it all- from the long blonde locks of preppy sorority girls who had “never been with a girl,” to the brunette bells of bombshells worthy of a Suicide Girl spread. But never had I actually been “picked up.” Usually, a girl would meekly approach, and a conversation would transpire (at my initiation). Once the ice broke, things would take off from there, and usually end up with me getting laid.
Generally, if I was downtown, I played it simple. I would spot a girl and have the bartender give her a drink, “courtesy of me.” I wouldn't approach her; I would simply sit in my seat, wait for the drink to be handed to her and, when she looked to my direction, smile and raise my cup. I chattered with friends, acting as if life were the biggest, most robust bowl of cherries. Twenty-or-so minutes would pass, and I would mozy over and start with the obvious, “what's your name?” The response was generally coy, and I used this to my advantage. I would respond with something unexpected, like “This introduction is like something straight out of Bukowski. I'm, Lexi.” I tried to never seem too enthusiastic, instead I tried to use my eyes to my advantage. I always went for a formal introduction, which in comparison to my appearance, seemed quite unexpected. Lots of stiff pauses with intense eye-alouge. And from there, the mingling would persist.
If the poetic introduction didn't work, I opted for something a little lighter, but still unexpected. I would observe her clothing and go for something like, “Wow I love your necklace, I think my sister has the same one...no wait, I think her's is black.” This always seemed to work, because after all, women love compliments, as small as they might be. I never went for obvious compliments, as I didn't want to appear desperate. Instead, I would focus on something simple, and branch out from there. Details like, “no, I think her's is black,” made it more genuine, while still leaving room for a response. In addition, she would see that I paid attention to details. I didn't drop the “your really pretty etc.” bombs until I was comfortable with the direction of the banter.
Sometimes I did go with cliché pick-up-lines, but I had to realize the appropriate times. Usually I would use these with girls who were laughing insatiably, and I would sort of slip it in as if it were a joke. Lines like “Damn girl, look at those shoes; I was going to ask you, you know, if you were tired (because you've been running through my mind all night), but I can clearly see there's no way you could run in those shoes.” This would generate a laugh, and I would smile and we would toast. Other cliches were funny when they were twisted around. “You must not have a mirror in your pocket, because I really can't actually see myself in your pants.” I always made it blatantly sarcastic. Either way, I tended to try and make conversation airy and easy. When appropriate, it usually worked.
The key to a great opening with any lady is to focus on two concepts- either make her laugh or make her “ponder.” This is to simply steer clear of cliches, which can occasionally work, but tend to not to more cases than do. If using a cliché, it is imperative to feel out the situation and use it tactfully. Try to be complimentary, but not too complimentary. Every woman “wants what she cannot have”, so putting all of your cards out at once is usually a bad idea. Remember that confidence is key, and like I stated, do not be afraid to challenge her. If the woman you are wooing thinks she might not have a chance, the sexual tension usually builds. Women, like men, also enjoy a little competition. Just be sure to not seem conceited. A popular way to utilize this, and wiggle yourself into her radar can lie in your own stats. You can ask her what her zodiac sign is, and after she tells you shes a “libra,” you can respond with “even though you seem very pretty, it just wont work because I'm a Scorpio.” Be sure to laugh. Ask her what she's drinking and why she chose that particular drink. You can inquire on her opinions regarding astrology, and start talking from there. At the end of the night, you can backtrack and say something along the lines of, “well maybe astrology isn’t always accurate.” A full-circle will only highlight your intelligence and wit.
And now, back to my epic Saturday night. You know- at the Irish bar. I recall holding the girls number in my hands, showing it to Scott and laughing (I didn't feel bad- Scott got tons of girls). As I exited the bar, I remember the waitress telling me “how much I looked like Joan Jett.” I left the bar and chalked up our interactions as “drunken debauchery.” Even though the “Joan Jett” comment was off-putting, I decided to give her a call and ask her out. Now, three years later, my life has taken a different turn. Despite my previous, “single,” behavior, I'm in a committed partnership with a woman who I wouldn't dream of cheating on- the waitress from the Irish bar. In the end, the most cliché line of them all tied my knot.
About the Author
Alexandra Meehan is a published poet and freelance writer living in the eclectic city of Gainesville, FL. She resides in her tiny apartment with her partner Catherine and her Australian Shepard Pekoe. When she isn't freelancing, she is writing poetry on her prized, vintage typewriter. Other than writing, she enjoys cooking and biking.